Wisdom Tooth
by manga-addict-95
Summary: An ordinary morning in the Phantomhive household goes haywire when Ciel grows a wisdom tooth. His toothache leads to a ban on all his favorite desserts, and Ciel must resort to manipulation and trickery to sate his sugary desires...
1. Chapter 1: Wisdom tooth?

**WISDOM TOOTH**

…

**Chapter 1: Wisdom tooth?**

…

Sunlight flitted through the simple but elegant curtains that framed the thick oak shutters. Sebastian pulled the drapes back, bathing his master's room in the bright morning rays. The rustling of cloth woke the head of the Phantomhive house, the thirteen-year-old Earl Ciel Phantomhive, who grumbled as he extracted himself from his luxurious silk bed sheets.

The butler poured fine Ceylon tea into a Wedgewood cup, and proffered said beverage to the grumpy boy, who accepted it with a haughty nod. No thank-yous from this brat.

The morning rituals were disrupted by a low groan from the Earl, who was rubbing the side of his face with a pained grimace.

"Is something wrong, young master?" Anybody else would have mistaken the butler's attitude for concern, but Ciel knew better. His butler was a demon bound to his bidding by a contract, and though Sebastian was required by their bond to safeguard the boy's life, the demon took great pleasure in belittling his master, and enjoyed seeing the boy suffer.

"My teeth hurt." Clearly, the Earl was a man (boy) of few words.

"If you wish, shall I have a look at it?"

"…."

Ciel mentally debated the sanity of allowing Sebastian to assess his medical condition. Considering that Sebastian could perfectly substitute for a dance teacher, a fencing instructor and a hunting dog, awarding him the role of doctor should not be totally unreasonable. Besides, Sebastian had mauled several assassins and other members of the underworld on Ciel's orders, and God know how many more _before_ he was contracted to Ciel; so it was likely that he had a pretty thorough understanding of human anatomy, despite his twisted opinions of the same.

The boy nodded. "Fine. But be careful."

"Certainly." The demon bowed with a hand on his chest, the personification of the high-class English butler. Grinning, he taunted, "After all, the young master's disposition is very frail even by human standards. Now please say 'Aah'."

Ciel refused point-blank to demean himself by doing something as childish as saying 'Aah', but nevertheless grudgingly opened his mouth for Sebastian's inspection.

The demon peered at his gums for a while, before exclaiming, "My my, how unusual! It appears that the Young Master has grown a wisdom tooth."

"….Wisdom tooth?"

"Indeed. Generally, wisdom teeth manifest themselves when humans reach adulthood, however it seems that the young master's wisdom tooth has emerged quite early." Sebastian appeared to ponder for a moment, and then theorized with a mocking closed-eye smile, "Perhaps it is a result of the young master's more…. mature outlook of life?"

"Hmmph. A tooth is simply enamel, life experiences have nothing to do with it."

Sebastian chuckled. "As you say. Now, the pain you are experiencing appears to be caused by your new wisdom tooth. Normally, the ache should subside and disappear after a few hours…"

The butler paused, and Ciel had a premonition that he would NOT like the cunning butler's next words. His fears proved well-founded, as the butler said, "However it would be safer to temporarily abstain from sweet items, at least until your gums have adjusted to your new dental composition."

Ignoring Ciel's suddenly pale face, the black-clad butler continued with a brilliant smile that was nonetheless purely evil, "You comprehend what this means, don't you, young master? I will be maintaining a strict control over your diet for the time being. That means no gateau, pie, chocolate, or any other form of dessert till your ache subsides." The butler smiled even wider, relishing his master's horrified expression. "It wouldn't do for the young master to get cavities, would it?"

Ciel was tempted to protest, but he knew it would only amuse Sebastian even further. Not wanting to admit that the demon had successfully gotten under his skin, Ciel attempted to better understand the extent of his torture. "For how long?" he questioned, trying to maintain a neutral expression on his face.

"I believe two days would be an optimistic estimate." Again, that infuriating smile! It grated on Ciel's nerves, and he was tempted to order the butler never to smile again.

Two days, the (barely) teenager mused. It didn't seem too bad. Ciel nodded, confident that he could hold off from sweet delicacies for a short while. After all, his toothache had rather ruined his appetite.

...

* * *

...

"A wisdom tooth? Isn't it a bit _too_ early for the young master to grow a wisdom tooth?"

The three idiots (servants) of Phantomhive manor were gathered in the hallway, taking a break from their chores. The old man Tanaka was sipping tea in the corner, not participating in the conversation (he seldom did).

Finny, being a simpleton, enthusiastically exclaimed, "That's because the young master is very clever, he is!"

Bard was skeptical, and snorted in disdain at the foolish suggestion. "Heh. Even if the young master is clever, he's still a kid. He's much too young for a wisdom tooth. It's more likely that Sebastian made a mistake."

For a whole minute, the other Phantomhive servants simply stared at Bard, wondering if they had somehow misheard him; since it was incomprehensible for the words 'mistake' and 'Sebastian' to be in the same sentence. After all, the butler always miraculously saved the day and managed to undo all the disasters and havoc the three idiots caused. They had never seen Sebastian make a mistake, and he was always precise, neat and meticulous; in short, he was perfect.

"Mister Sebastian doesn't make mistakes, no he doesn't!" Mey-rin responded hotly. Trust the dreamy maid to rush to the defense of her long-time crush. Raising her voice accusingly at Bard, she demanded hotly, "Have you ever seen him do something wrong?"

Bard, unable to come up with a single incident to support his opinion, simply snorted and looked away. His eyes alighted on the pots and pans, giving him a sudden idea.

"Alright! Since the poor young master has a toothache, I, chef Bardroy, shall improve his mood by preparing a nutritious but tasty meal!"

Clapping their hands at his brilliance, the other two servants cheered him on, but their euphoria was disrupted by a large dark shadow. Gulping, the idiot trio turned to face a clearly annoyed Sebastian. "Kindly desist in your culinary endeavors, Bard, as you are incapable of even the simplest of meals. I shall take over the kitchen, and I must insist that you stay away from the young master's food. _Far, far away_."

After shooing the pests from the kitchen, the diligent butler pulled out a few recipes from his cookbook, pondering deeply. "The young master must have soft and easy-to-swallow food, so I suppose porridge would be a good idea…."

...

* * *

...

Four o'clock and Ciel was already longing for some dessert. Normally, Sebastian would relieve him of his boredom of business work with a lemon pie or meringue. Ciel better appreciated the true worth of the pie; now, when it was out of his reach.

Yet his pride would not back down. He would persevere, and he would show that demon how strong he was. After all, how hard could it be to overcome his craving for sweets?

...

* * *

...

Two more hours and Ciel was cursing his pride, his tooth, his butler (not that that would have any effect, seeing as the butler was a demon from Hell) and most of all, the apple tart that pervaded his thoughts and tantalized his taste-buds whenever he closed his eyes.

Briefly the boy considered Bard's theory that Sebastian was mistaken. (The pretend-cook's boisterous voice could be heard clearly even from Ciel's study; which is why the butler could immediately interfere with Bard's grand plans, before he could destroy the kitchen in a well-meaning attempt at what was, technically, Bard's job). Ciel scoffed. He never knew why his small team of lethal assassins even bothered with household chores; they were pathetic at simple everyday tasks, and only made more of a mess for Sebastian to clean. Besides, the demon was more than capable of managing the sprawling estate on his own, and he had made it expressly clear that he did not appreciate the other servants' _…..'assistance'_ (merely being polite, we all know how much 'help', or rather headache, they were). Ciel chuckled. He rather enjoyed the demon's anger at the never-ending work the idiot trio's failures gave him.

But he was digressing. Now his sweet-deprivation was affecting his mental faculties….

Ciel knew it was close to impossible that the demon had made an error of judgment, but the excuse should be sufficient to wring some delicacy out of Sebastian, should things become worse…

...

* * *

...

Twelve hours. That was the total sugar-free time Ciel endured before disregarding his aching tooth and demanding chocolate gateau for dinner. Sebastian, however, (predictably) refused.

Ciel attempted to bully the stoic butler into bowing to his wishes. "Really, Sebastian, I'm _ordering_ you to serve me something sweet. Aren't you supposed to follow my orders without question? If that's the case, then aren't your current actions against your aesthetics?" Ciel hoped that the transparent blackmail would work, though he rather doubted it.

The demon shook his head, feigning regret while inwardly smirking with glee. "That may be true, young master; but looking out for your health is my utmost priority. My aesthetics prevent me from doing something that harms the young master's fragile body, and serving you chocolate gateau obviously fits into the latter category."

Damn Soma and Agni for introducing Sebastian to this new logic! He used the pacifist duo's reasoning to circumvent many of Ciel's orders, on the pretext that he was looking out for Ciel's health.

Ciel was adamant. "My toothache has diminished considerably (a little white lie), and I consider myself well enough to indulge in dessert. Now hurry up, Sebastian, I crave for chocolate."

"A craving for chocolate does not necessarily mean that you should give in to the feeling. Rather, young master, do you not think this is an educational experience? There is a popular theory that temporary abstinence is the best way to overcome the body's desires. Exercising restraint is believed to make humans stronger."

Ciel knew what the demon was doing. Sebastian was taking a stab at his weakness, at the same time appealing to his pride. Accepting the challenge would only add flame to the butler's veiled insults when Ciel was finally on his knees and begging for chocolate.

Ciel knew it was a taunt, he was well aware that the demon was baiting him into doing something foolish, but he could not back down. Dismissing the butler with an ambiguous "Hm", the boy collapsed into his favorite armchair and pulled out a detective novel in a desperate attempt to take his mind off his current dietary problems.

...

* * *

...

Needless to say, Ciel's coping mechanism was woefully inadequate. The book was open on the same page, and his mind was far away, in a dream that involved cinnamon pie, éclairs and carrot cake, in vast quantities, and no infuriating butler to hinder him from sinking his teeth into their creamy goodness.

The dream was enhanced by the faint but unmistakable scent of chocolate pervading his nose. For a few minutes, the boy dismissed the smell as a hallucination of his exhausted mind. When he realized that the delectable aroma was very much real, Ciel immediately stood up, and dashed to the kitchen at a speed Sebastian would never have believed him capable of.

His suspicions were surprisingly accurate, as he found his black-clad butler carefully laying the final touches to an extravagant chocolate cake, Ciel's favorite dessert.

Ciel knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, and this act of supreme kindness from the sadistic butler was equivalent, not to a gift horse, but to a stable of golden unicorns. No, the butler definitely had something under his sleeve; the cake was obviously a Trojan horse signaling the boy's doom.

Feigning nonchalance, Ciel drawled casually, "I see you have changed your mind about dessert. Tell me Sebastian, what happened to the merits of temporary abstinence?"

"My earlier argument still stands, young master. Regrettably (though he id not look sorry at all), I must inform you that this cake is not for you."

Ciel was flabbergasted, and it showed clearly in his slack-jawed countenance. "Not for me?" he echoed hollowly, his fleeting good humor vanishing as if he was doused in ice-cold water.

"Why of course, young master. I would never dream of aggravating your dental problems by serving you an inappropriate diet."

Smirking widely, the devious butler continued, "After all, there are the other inhabitants of the manor to consider. I am often too engrossed in preparing the finest delicacies for you, that I fail to address the servants' needs for dessert. I am simply taking advantage of my free time to reward them with a scrumptious meal."

Liar! Sebastian was rubbing salt in his wounds, by baking for the servants the cake which Ciel so desperately longed for.

The idiot trio chose this cataclysmic moment to stroll into the kitchen. They stopped short and gawked at the unusual sight before them. The young master, who had previously never ventured into the kitchen (probably because of the chef's penchant for explosives), was standing in the centre of the sprawling room, aghast and ashen-faced; while the butler was perfecting a delicious cake, indifferent to the boy's visible outrage. Deciding that this wasn't the best time to interfere, the three wisely chose to retreat, away from the electrifying tension in the kitchen.

Ciel mentally debated his options, but in the end, hunger won out. "Bah, I don't care. Hand the cake over this instant."

"I'm sorry, young master, but cannot do that. Please understand that I am only acting in your best interests."

_Hypocrite_, Ciel fumed. Extreme measures were necessary. Enforcing the strategy he had planned during his sugar-free evening, he said slyly, "I realize that you are acting _'in my best interests'_, however this case may not require your _heartwarming_ efforts. To put things simply, I believe that your diagnosis of my dental problem is inaccurate, and hence the restrictions you have imposed on my diet are completely unnecessary. I declare myself completely fit, and I want my chocolate cake."

Sebastian was unshakable. "I fear to be impolite, young master; but I must object. My analysis has never been at fault. I have researched extensively on the subject during the course of this afternoon, and I can state with utmost certainty that the young master has a wisdom tooth, which is the source of his pain. I can say with equal authority that the consumption of sugary items would only result in the pain escalating, a situation I believe the young master would be wise to avoid."

"You may have researched on the subject, but that does not change the fact that you are not a doctor, and so have no authority to make such claims. I refuse to accept that I have a wisdom tooth, unless vouched by a _legally qualified _doctor."

Sebastian sighed, and then relented. "Very well, young master. I shall make an appointment with a reputed dentist early tomorrow morning, and we can end this discussion once in for all."

Ciel nodded, and his mind quickly returned to the objective of this bickering and compromise with the demon butler. "I agree. Set up an appointment. We shall meet the dentist as soon as possible. Now hand over that cake."

The butler had no alternative but to comply. Shaking his head, Sebastian cut a large slice of the dessert for his smug master, who wasted no time in digging into the enticing chocolate.

The effect was immediate. "Ouch!" the boy exclaimed, dropping his spoon and clutching his aching jaw.

"Now, now, young master" the butler wagged his finger reprovingly, holding the mouth-watering cake out of the skinny boy's reach as he scrunched his eyes in pain. "I warned you that sweet items would not be good for you, but you simply didn't listen. I hope you now realize how childish your demands were, and keep away from unhealthy items."

Ciel winced. He had worked so hard, resorted to such trickery, and yet he could not win against his damned butler. And now he was being admonished like a disobedient child. (Well, he was disobedient, and still pretty much a child, but that was not the point). Enraged, Ciel pried the cake out of the grinning butler's hands, and fibbed, "Nonsense. My exclamation was a reflex action, I feel no pain whatsoever. I am starving, and I shall finish this entire cake. Now leave; do you not have other chores to attend to?"

Smirking, the butler bowed and left his master to his dessert, enjoyed the boy's pained expression as he stubbornly swallowed bite after bite of the cake, all the while clutching the side of his face.

After Sebastian had tucked him into bed that night, Ciel caressed his aching gums, and reflected that maybe he had let his pride get the better of him after all.

…

…

**This is my first Black Butler fanfiction. As you can see, it is just a little drabble with no specific timing or meaning to it. I just realized how incredibly difficult it is to write fanfiction for Kuroshitsuji. The way of writing must reflect 1880 speech styles, and requires a lot of effort. I spent two weeks on this, and am pretty nervous about the response to this rather eccentric piece of work.**

**I want your opinion on a couple of things:**

**The whole gift horse analogy – was it good? Was it nauseously lame?**

**I really wanted to put a 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' reference, but I wikied it, and found that the book was published only in 1964.**

**Round 1 goes to Ciel, but there will be a Round 2. Next, they go to the dentist! **

**You know the drill; please read and review. Thank you for your time and effort.**


	2. Chapter 2: A Visit to the Dentist

**WISDOM TOOTH**

…

**Chapter 2: A visit to the Dentist**

…

**The disclaimer I had forgotten in the excitement of the previous chapter: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, nor do I own any of the characters.**

…

True to his word, the butler set up an appointment for the next morning with the most reputed dentist in Harley Street. Only the best for the young master, or so the demon claimed; but his sinister smirk and glittering red eyes seemed to indicate that some mischief was afoot. No matter, Ciel already had too many things on his plate to worry about his butler's latest scheme.

Ciel protested vehemently against the long and drudging trip to London, but secretly he was rather relieved. His blasted new wisdom tooth was _killing _him, and he hoped the dentist would prescribe some medication to alleviate his distress, so that things could go back to normal once more. And in Ciel's mind, 'normal' meant gateau and parfait.

The downside of the whole strenuous trip was that the butler would undoubtedly prove right in his diagnosis, meaning that Ciel would have to endure Sebastian's taunts and disguised mockery for a very long time. The young earl sighed. It was a small price to pay for renewing his access to chocolate haven.

…

…

Ciel was too young to recall his previous incidents with dentists, so he was justified in feeling a vague apprehension are he stared at the stark white walls and heavily sterilized tiled floor. The unease was further intensified by the various steely dentures showcased in alcoves, and the gruesome depictions of gums and cavities lining the walls.

"A morbid and gloomy place…." Ciel mused, slightly unsettled, trying to hide his discomfit with sarcastic humor. "Quite an inappropriate atmosphere for a hospital that is supposed to help recover health and save lives, is it not?" he murmured rhetorically, sporting a wry smile that looked more like a grimace.

"Indeed" the butler replied, never missing a beat. "Though hospitals are a place of healing, they also symbolize pain, suffering ….and death. The stench of blood, disease and decay permeates the halls of medical institutions; the nauseating smell of burned, injured and putrid flesh usually clings to the so-called sanatorium …though in many respects, this place has a somewhat more welcoming aura, at least in human terms."

Ciel shuddered. If this place was considered 'welcoming', with a reputation for being one of 'the best', then what condition would the worse places be in?

A straight-backed and stiff-faced nurse ushered them into the doctor's presence with a few terse words of greeting, adding to the somber and dismal atmosphere.

…

…

The dentist was a short, obese, balding man whose only redeeming feature was his shiny white teeth, which were so well-polished they seemed to reflect the light from the sparkly tiles. He wore a long white doctor's coat (much too big for him), with thin white gloves. Everything in the doctor's room was white; the walls, the tables, the small collection of medical certificates hanging proudly beside the wooden shelf (the shelf being coated with alabaster paint), and the foreboding dentist chair that stood in the middle of the eerily antiseptic room like the centerpiece of an exhibition. Even the medical books on the shelf were bound in white-painted leather for uniformity. The only items that were of a different color were the steel dentist implements on the doctor's table, and the glass vials on the shelves, in which floated many murky brown …things. Ciel was not sure what they were, but he was pretty sure he didn't want to know.

The dentist was overly cheery, beckoning Ciel to the cushioned chair in the middle, while taking the seat next to it, immediately launching into an in-depth explanation of the beauty of enamel and the miracles that were teeth.

"You have come to the perfect place, my boy! This is the temple of sanctity in the world of dentistry, and I worship the tooth to the utmost. Your little pearly whites are in safe hands!"

Ciel did not appreciate the rotund gentleman's obnoxious serenade, and his infantile choice of words made the thirteen year old wince. (Pearly whites? What sort of baby-talk is that?). He also did not take lightly to being addressed as '_boy'_, after all, it was ridiculous that the Queen's watchdog should be coddled like a child.

"I have a small problem with my-" Ciel attempted to politely redirect the conversation, but his weak voice was quickly overcast by the medic's deep boisterous tones.

"I have conducted many seminars on the merits of brushing thrice a day, and of the importance of natural salts in toothpaste…"

Oblivious to Ciel's irate interruptions, the dentist continued his monologue; either he was oblivious, or (more likely) he was deliberately ignoring his patient's disinterest and barely-concealed irritation.

"Did you know that enamel is the hardest substance in the human body? That means your teeth are a lot more difficult to break than your bones. Teeth are also…" The physician prattled on, without a single pause for breath, eyes bright and shining in the pallid room.

Ciel assumed the beefy medic's bubbly attitude was a concerted effort to mask the dourness of his 'temple'. Frustrating as the doctor's enthusiasm was, it served to mellow down the forbidding aura that permeated his precious house of healing (?).

Sebastian merely stood demurely in a corner, silent and watchful, no doubt gathering ammunition for future taunts. His black outfit was a stark contrast to the white décor, making him stick out like a sore thumb. Ciel was unable to repress a smirk. The butler prided himself on being unobtrusive when the occasion called for it, to the point of almost-invisibility, so his current inability to blend in would certainly be an annoyance.

Ciel understood four things about the doctor from his lengthy discourse. One, he was an ardent admirer of all things enamel, teeth being his foremost preference. Two, he was a staunch advocate of a healthy diet to maintain said teeth. Three, his idea of a healthy diet effectively eliminated all of Ciel's favorite snacks. Four, the dentist sought to promote his (outrageous) dietary opinion by enforcing rigorous controls on _all _his patients, whether they suffered toothaches or not.

"Now, let's have a look at your teeth, shall we?" the dentist hummed the words as he fiddled around with his equipment, before exclaiming jovially, "Now give me a nice long _Aaah_."

Ciel grimaced, but the dentist was unwilling to let it slide. With a sigh, Ciel mumbled a half-hearted 'Aah', opening his mouth partially. The dentist gave an admonishing shake of his head, and Ciel tried again, this time louder. Finally satisfied, the self-acclaimed tooth expert forced Ciel's mouth open wider, deftly inserting a shiny metal contraption into the gap, peering into the cavern of Ciel's mouth like an oversized, bald owl. Even so, the young Earl was relieved to be blessed with silence. He had feared that the dentist would never cease his inconsequential glorification of incisors, canines and molars.

The dentist was fairly bouncing with glee when he found the cause of Ciel's trouble. "Ooooh, how unusual! A wisdom tooth at such a young age! This, my boy, is something I have rarely seen before! Perhaps we should take some X-Rays to figure out why such an extraordinary phenomenon occurred, then we can-"

"Out of the question" Ciel snapped, whatever little patience he had now long gone. "I will not take any further tests. I merely want something to relieve me of the pain, so I can go about my business as usual. A simple pain-killer will do, and I shall take your leave." Ciel nimbly and abruptly got up from the padded chair, a sure sign that the matter had been closed. It was his swift checkmate, a clear dismissal which his underlings and associates were very familiar with.

However, the doctor, clearly unfamiliar with the earl's mannerisms, was not pleased. In a patronizing tone, he waggled a bloated and reproving finger. "Now now, sit down boy, I haven't finished yet. I must better examine his miracle, and for that-"

"I have no interest in your research, and I refuse to participate as your guinea-pig in any ridiculous experiments. And also, don't call me boy. I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive, and I expect to be treated with proper respect befitting my station."

"Really, young master… it's not wise to antagonize the one who you trust your health with."

Oh, the irony. The butler was secretly hinting that his master should actually show some respect and appreciation to his servants, or more specifically, to treat _Sebastian_ better. Perhaps the demon was miffed with the extra workload Ciel dumped on him as punishment for the dessert ban. But perhaps there was some truth in his statement. After all, Ciel had taken advantage of his contract to work the demon to the death, if indeed demons could die. Flashing a brilliant smile at the approving medic, the butler drawled out his ace in the hole, "Besides, I'm sure the good doctor has only the best intentions."

As Sebastian had predicted, the dentist seized the opportunity like a drowning man. "Listen to him, that's my man! He's perfectly right, of course. I am putting your well-being as my utmost priority! You have nothing to worry, my dear boy. A few years of a balanced diet, and the appropriate pills, and I guarantee that you won't even _want_ unhealthy, enamel-corroding, cavity-causing junk anymore! I shall cure you of the lust for such detrimental eating habits, so that your teeth and gums shall be strong and robust till the end of your days!"

Oh god! The dentist was going to make his starve, and give him questionable pills that would probably destroy his taste-buds, and maybe addle his brain in the process, all so that Ciel could never again enjoy the simply delight of cocoa and chocolate.

Thinking about chocolate was a bad idea. Ciel was instantly hungry, which only made him more tired and irritable.

"So here" the dentist continued, capitalizing on the Ciel's horrified silence and Sebastian's barely-concealed mirth, "This is a list of all the _healthy_ food that you can eat. Stick to this diet, and your pain shall vanish in no time at all! Oh, and don't worry; you are always welcome back if your ache persists. I shall be glad to have another opportunity to examine you lovely new wisdom tooth, and perhaps I shall assist you with strengthening your teeth… I have some very good toothpaste and floss that come in all sorts of flavors, including chocolate and vanilla. Hopeless dessert addicts tend to brush their teeth many times to get a small taste of what they desire… the effects are quite astounding."

The dentist handed the pitifully small list to the dutiful Sebastian, who immediately pursued in with something akin to euphoria. Oh, how he was going to enjoy this.

Ciel was lost in thought, oblivious of the doctor's rather morbid fascination in his patients' suffering. It was clear that his fool-proof plan had backfired on him, and in the most disastrous manner possible. It might have been better if he had simply listened to Sebastian and played along with his two day ban, rather that his current unfortunate predicament of _lifelong prohibition_.

The butler's smirk made it clear that he mirrored the same thoughts. In a mocking tone, he chuckled, "I hope this trip to the doctor has been …._educational_ to the young master."

"Hmmph." Trying to regain some sense of dignity, the Earl stood up, gaining some smug satisfaction in the knowledge that he had interrupted the troublesome pestilence of a doctor in mid-tirade, and strode purposefully out of the dreary clinic, only pausing to call out to his butler, "Come, Sebastian."

The demon bowed, and followed obediently, already plotting the best ways to torment his master. "Yes, my lord."

…

…

**As you can clearly make out from this story, I hate hospitals and have no medical knowledge whatsoever. I apologize for any factual mistakes, and for any aspiring doctor I may have offended.**

**I haven't really said goodbye to my previous work 'As Usual' (Skip Beat fanfiction), so I tend to use that phrase a lot nowadays.**

**This is actually the first work that I have put so much effort into, which explains the time delay. Skip Beat is basically light humor and casual conversation, so choice of words doesn't really matter. However, kuroshitsuji requires careful thought to the wording and structure of sentences. I'm now using to find the right words to express myself in a manner befitting characters from the late nineteenth century. Hopefully I have succeeded in replicating the Phantomhive atmosphere.**

**As always, please read and review. This story has received a dishearteningly frugal response, only around a hundred people have actually read this. So please, if you like this, recommend to others. It would mean a lot to me.**


	3. Chapter 3: Black Tea and Brown Bread

**WISDOM TOOTH**

…

**Chapter 3: Black Tea and Brown Bread**

…

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, nor do I own any of the characters.**

* * *

…

…

At first glance, it was an ordinary morning for Earl Phantomhive. The sprawling townhouse was infused with bright sunlight, heralding the start of a glorious day (not so glorious for Ciel, but he doesn't know that yet). The dutiful butler Sebastian silently opened the pale curtains, flooding the master's bedroom with refreshing warmth, before pushing a well-laden food cart towards the grumbling boy.

The demon flashed a bright smile towards the sullen youth, choosing to overlook the master's not-so-sunny disposition. "Good morning, young master. I trust you had a wonderful rest."

Ciel glowered at the overly-cheerful butler and fumed silently. _Cunning bastard. He knew I couldn't sleep a wink because of nightmares! That monster of a dentist, it's all his fault!_

Ah yes, how could he forget? That psychopath of a doctor who insisted on testing his limited patience and raising his blood pressure by forcing him to adhere to a tiny list of 'healthy' food items, most of which Ciel did not consider to be food at all. He could barely tolerate carrot and spinach as part of curry or some fancy dish; there was no way he would nibble raw carrot like a rabbit. He was by no means a peasant, after all, so he was frankly offended by the frugality of his proposed diet.

The deranged medic would definitely pay. Ciel Phantomhive was a man of his word (figuratively speaking, since from his looks one would have a hard time believing he was even an adolescent); he had sworn to ruin the dentist, and he would achieve that goal, no matter what it took. Ciel was obsessed with revenge, going so far as to form a contract with a demon to avenge his parents; he knew and understood payback better than anyone. But destroying the dentist's life would have to wait. There were more pressing matters to deal with.

Besides, he needed some time to satisfactorily plan out the doctor's torture. Even the most excruciatingly painful humiliation would not suffice to compensate for the torture Ciel was to undergo on the doctor's behalf.

…

Ciel was recalled from his dark and increasingly violent thoughts by Sebastian's cultured voice.

"Today's tea is Earl Grey, accompanied by bread slices." Pouring the liquid carefully into a delicate cup, Sebastian continued, "As the young master was too exhausted to return to the manor yesterday, we are forced to recuperate in the townhouse, at least until his body becomes strong enough to handle light travel."

"…"

The boy did not acknowledge the jibe; his only response was an apathetic hand extending to accept the fragile china. Ciel was not in the best of moods, and it showed clearly.

Undaunted, Sebastian continued, "This means that, in the absence of your usual tutors, I shall endeavor to broaden your knowledge and understanding of language and politics, as well as medieval history. Theology and music shall have to wait until we return to the manor; I am sadly unequipped to deal with the former, and my teaching policy regarding the latter has proven far too strenuous for the young master…"

"…"

The butler paused to observe the silent boy; it was rare for the proud and impudent Earl to pass over so many thinly-veiled insults without comment. The brat may hold his tongue in the face of one or two sly words, but to maintain his peace despite repeated blows to his ladylike physique and non-existent stamina was quite unusual.

The 'brat' in question was glaring at his teacup with a disapproving frown. Hesitantly, he took a tiny cautious sip before spitting out the sappy mixture in pure disgust.

"Ugh, what is this? It tastes disgusting! This is definitely not earl grey." The child's expression grew stormy, and he bit out, "In fact, I highly doubt if it is tea at all; the flavor and constitution hint at nothing more than murky water."

The butler smirked, as if he possessed some secret knowledge his master did not. "On the contrary, young master. This is the finest earl grey tea procured from the reputed Twinings shop in London. It is the same tea that has always been served to you, the only difference being that I refrained from adding any sugar to the blend."

Ciel scoffed. "Tea without sugar? How ridiculous. How is one supposed to enjoy the fine tea if you forgo one of the basic ingredients?"

The butler shook his head, bowing low to hide his grin. Oh, how he enjoyed riling his master up.

"With due respect, young master, sugar is not a compulsory ingredient in the mixture, it is only an additive to enhance the taste. Sugar is completely unnecessary in the preparation of tea, and in most cases, it is actually a detriment to the health of the drinker. The therapeutic effects of black tea are loudly extolled by those proficient on the subject. I'm sure you are aware that excess of glucose can lead to diabetics."

The boy looked ready to wring the demon's neck, though the black-clad hell-spawn was not likely to die from the assault. Controlling his temper with much difficulty, Ciel replied, his voice acidic, "I am not _diabetic_ in the least, so kindly refrain from regurgitating your medical knowledge on that matter; nor do I have an interest in the nutritious properties of black tea, so do not attempt to serve me any, lest I throw the hot liquid at your face."

Fueled by anger, the boy continued in a louder voice, "As I have emphasized repeatedly, I am perfectly healthy, and I resent such major changes to the basic elements of my sustenance. Tea is a staple beverage, which I often consume more than twice a day; I refuse to accept this pathetic excuse for earl grey. You are making things difficult needlessly."

The butler sighed, and looked appropriately remorseful, all the while trying to hide his chuckles. "I apologize, young master… but I cannot do that. This is a necessary evil which must be endured so that your toothache subsides and your frail body gains some degree of immunity."

Ciel grimaced, but restrained himself in time. Arguing over the dentist's dietary regimen would lead them nowhere. _Necessary evil, huh? It's difficult to decide whether the diet or Sebastian is the necessary evil. _It was worthless to protest the matter as Sebastian showed no signs of letting up.

That being said, it wasn't like Ciel to meekly accept his gross mistreatment. For the sake of a squabble rather than a serious attempt at an altercation, he complained, "I find it hard to believe that only the sugar was changed. This …_concoction_ you have prepared tastes nothing like the earl grey I am familiar with."

"That is because previously I had always enriched the young master's tea with liberal amounts of sugar, often going so far as to add maple syrup, caramel, or sweetener whenever appropriate, in order to enhance the flavor. It is no surprise that, in absence of such supplements, your tea must taste quite bland." The look the demon gave could only be described as sympathetic, yet Ciel could sense the glee behind his sparkling smile.

"Che."

Forgoing the insipid brew masquerading as tea, Ciel diverted his attention to the other item of his morning meal. It was not the normal variety of bread, he could tell clearly. The slices were darker than usual, and lacked the sweet aroma of freshly-baked loaves; and they were plain rectangles, not dainty curved shapes like the buns and scones he was accustomed to. Yet the snack seemed innocent enough. Ciel had heard of brown bread; he presumed this new serving was something of that nature.

However, the dismal excuse for tea had heightened Ciel's caution, and he spent many moments observing the wheatish slice from all angles. Opening his mouth, he gently bit the very edge of the bread.

His eyes widened, and he nearly choked. "Bleh. This tastes like sawdust!"

"Sawdust, young master? How rude. I'll have you know that rusk is highly recommended for strengthening teeth. Also, I am quite sure the young master has never actually tasted sawdust, so your description is rather unfair."

_Damn this bastard! _Ciel could feel his blood boiling, and knew he was moments from a temper tantrum.

"…"

It took him more than a few minutes to restrain his murderous urges, and to finally inquire, "Rusk?"

"Indeed. Regular bread lacks the fibrous content required to strengthen your teeth, so the dentist recommended replacing your daily bread with wheat rusk. It is not only more nutritious, but also served to reduce your daily sugar intake."

"I have never heard of this ….rusk. Surely this cattle-fodder is not one of the regular provisions. Does it even classify as fit for human consumption?"

"Of course it is safe for consumption, young master; though I must admit rusk is not a popular element of the typical English gentleman's high tea. It is more favored by the working classes who cannot afford soft bread."

Ciel drank in the new information, and bristled indignantly. "You honestly expect me to eat this…this _pauper's food?_"

Not giving the butler a chance to respond, he began to enumerate the many faults of the rusk. "It is coarse, it has no taste to speak of, it is flaky, and has littered my dress shirt with bread crumbs…"

The demon allowed the boy to blow off some steam, standing silently till the child had run out of insults. Which was quite a while. The butler stayed silent, enjoying the little drama playing out.

…

...

Ciel gathered from Sebastian's silence that the butler would not be moved on the subject. If he desisted, the butler would simply stand there till Ciel finally gave in. and that means that no work would get done.

"Fine. I shall eat it if I must. And pray, what goes with this fibrous food?"

"Pardon?" The demon tilted his head to the side as if confused, though he understood perfectly what the boy was saying.

Ciel snapped impatiently, "Well, what do you eat this cardboard with? Do I spread butter or jam on top of it? Or is it like biscuits which are dipped in tea?"

"Of course not, young master; such an accompaniment would ruin the beneficial effects of the rusk. The slices are meant to be eaten plain."

Ciel blanched, then closely inspected the Sebastian's poker face for signs of deceit. Finding none, he repeated dubiously, "…Plain?"

"Yes, young master; it is to be eaten plain."

Ciel shuddered in horror, and threw the demon a beseeching look, the likes of which Sebastian had never seen before. "Are you _sure?_ Absolutely sure?"

Sebastian didn't say anything; his brilliant, sparkly smile was answer enough.

Ciel groaned. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

**...**

**...**

**This is kind of like a filler bit, thus explaining the shortness. The chapter was getting long, so I decided to publish the breakfast bit as a separate chapter. At this stage, I think Wisdom Tooth shall have a total of five chapters. The story will officially end with the next chapter, and then there will be a little omake.**

**Please read and review, and also recommend this to your friends. Even though this story has been out for nearly a month, only around 300 people have read it. Are non-yaoi stories that unpopular, or does my writing suck?**

**For those of you who _have_ read this; thanks a lot, and please drop me a line if you can!**


	4. Chapter 4: Piece of Cake

…

**WISDOM TOOTH**

…

**Chapter 4: Piece of Cake**

…

**I realize I have not posted any new chapter in a while; I blame the exhausting interim assessments. Ah, untouched lessons, impending deadlines, lengthy papers with oft-confusing questions….that's studies for you.**

**As a reward for the patient wait, this chapter is extra-long and hopefully extra-funny! In fact it was so long that I had to split it into two chapters, ….so maybe it isn't extra-long after all….oops!**

**The next chapter will be quicker, I promise.**

**A little notice for my earnest readers: I have recently posted a SebastianxOC fanfic named 'The Devil's Apprentice', a little side project, which I intend to turn into a decent-sized romance. I realize that this sort of pairing is sadly lacking in popularity, and the first chapter isn't really up to my standards, but please do read. I welcome any SebastianxOC story recommendations, please PM me!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, nor do I own any of the characters.**

* * *

…

…

Ciel reasoned that after the breakfast debacle, his day could not possibly get worse. Oh, how wrong he was.

"Ciel! Heeey Cieeeel! Where are you hiding, brat?" Prince Soma's cheery voice carried to every room in the townhouse, and pervaded the earl's sensitive ears, dampening his already rock-bottom spirits till he almost sank to the floor in exhaustion.

It did not help that he was also starving_. Chocolate gives instant energy_, Ciel noted distractedly. Maybe he could try that argument the next time Sebastian-

"Oi, Ciel! There you are! I was looking all over for you!" The Prince waylaid the Earl at the staircase, foiling the younger boy's attempt to sneak away to his study for a few hours of relative peace. "Hey Ciel, you want to fence with me today? I've been practicing!"

".."

_No, you fool! I am dying of starvation, I cannot be bothered with any more physical exertion that absolutely necessary!_ Ciel was tempted to scream, but was even that proved too much exertion to bother with.

Not waiting for a reply, the dark-skinned prince proceeded to drag the unwilling youth (well, they were both youths, but Ciel was younger) to the practice hall, all the while prattling about his recent studies. "Your English language is really complicated, and your customs and etiquette are a nightmare. Soup-spoon, teaspoon, tablespoon…. in India, we simply eat with our hands."

"…"

_Eating with bare hands, how uncouth_, Ciel mused. Though if, at this moment, Soma demanded that Ciel eat chocolate cake barehanded, Ciel suspected that, not only would he gladly agree, but he probably would also lick his fingers clean like a starving animal.

"I have started taking piano classes as well, but I do not enjoy your English music…" Soma pouted childishly. "Nothing beats the enchanting melody of my native land!"

"…"

_Not the way you play it,_ the Earl was tempted to point out, but tiredly desisted from starting an argument with the disagreeable (in Ciel's opinion, at least) prince.

Ciel blocked out the boisterous voice, focusing instead on escaping the Indian's vice-like grip. A silent plea to Sebastian went unheeded; the demon was too busy exchanging pleasantries with his white-haired counterpart. Ciel was pretty sure the black-clad butler noticed his begging eyes, but remained impassive, most likely to prolong his master's suffering. Well, at least he wasn't having that infuriating smirk on his face. Not _yet_, at least.

"I practiced fencing in order to avenge my previous defeat to you! I have improved tremendously; this time you stand no chance, midget! Why, I even beat Agni once!" Soma burst out triumphantly, and Ciel was too drained to point out that the doting butler had probably lost on purpose to boost the Prince's morale. Well, it wasn't likely that Soma would believe it anyway.

To Ciel's relief, the ever-finicky Sebastian interrupted Soma's grand proclamations with a sharp reminder of their hectic schedule. "I'm afraid the young master is very busy at the moment; your fencing match will have to wait for another time." The butler's face darkened, and he assumed a menacing air; one that sent Soma cowering behind Agni in fear.

"Another time, no problem, no problem at all!" the dark-skinned boy exclaimed shrilly, refusing to meet the demon's eyes.

Soma breathed a sigh of relief when the tension dissipated, Sebastian beaming a victorious smile and ushering the Earl to his study.

_How odd_, Ciel mused. It wasn't like Sebastian to come to his rescue without any order or command. The demon had willfully saved him from the clutches of the hyper-active fool, rather than throw him to the lions (Ciel had learned that there were quite a few of those beasts in India, maybe that's where Soma got his traits from?). Sitting back and watching Ciel suffer happened to be a favorite pastime of the sadistic demon, second only to feeding his beloved felines. Ciel shuddered. What kind of 'amusement' did Sebastian have planned for the day that beat even Soma's detestable antics?

…

Suddenly recalling an important question, Soma yelled out as the duo turned their backs to him. "Hey Ciel, why are you in London, anyway?"

Ciel winced. Truthfully, he had no desire to disclose to the hyper-active prince the reason for his unexpected trip to London; but he also knew that Soma was not the type to let matters rest. He would probably nag Ciel till he conceded defeat and admitted his embarrassing predicament. In fact, Ciel's reluctance would only further his insufferable curiosity.

Ciel also knew that, if the Indian was informed of his unfortunate dental circumstances, Soma would have a hearty laugh at his expense.

As if concurring with his mental train of thought, Sebastian leaned closer and whispered, "I believe it is best to come clean with your friend, lest he interrupt our schedule for the rest of the day. We might be allowed some peace if you _**spill the beans**_ now…"

"…"

Ciel was tempted to point out that Soma was by no means his friend; in fact, he was nothing more than an over-imposing acquaintance (Ah, denial). However, the butler's last sentence gave him pause.

Ciel was baffled. _Spill the beans?_ Since when did Sebastian use such colloquialisms? He pondered this uncharacteristic behavior for a moment; however, the Earl's sharp mind quickly shifted from the butler's strange statement to the words themselves.

Beans…how he would have enjoyed baked beans for breakfast, instead of that outrageous poor man's bread. Simple, but wholesome, and definitely much more satisfying. Yes, baked beans, with buttered toast, now that was a proper breakfast….with perhaps a muffin or a scone to go along with it-

"Are you listening, young master?"

"Eh?"

Startled, Ciel realized that he had completely zoned out, mind taking a tangent at the mere mention of food. He had no idea how long he had been day-dreaming, but judging from the curious faces of Soma and Agni, they had been trying to awaken him for quite a while.

"Is something wrong, young master? It appears you haven't been paying any attention. We were getting quite worried about you."

Glaring at the demon's infuriating smirk, Ciel realized, _It was his plan all along! The bastard!_ Sebastian had purposefully used those distracting words to rub salt into Ciel's wounds, and he had succeeded magnificently. Not only was Ciel even hungrier than before, but he had also made a fool of himself in front of Soma and Agni.

"Tch, I am fine. No need to get worked up over nothing." Ciel shook the matter off with a disparaging shake of his head. He had already been humiliated enough.

…

…

Ciel's inconsequential protests over his meager breakfast had unfortunately upset the Earl's packed schedule, meaning that he had to be extra-productive during his learning hours to make up for the delay. However, this was easier said than done.

The extra workload was made more unbearable by Sebastian's unwillingness to drop the subject. As a butler, Sebastian couldn't simply scold or punish the master for neglecting his studies, so the demon opted for sly comments instead.

"Since the young master was in no mood to study after running away from the doctor with his tail between his legs-"

Ciel huffed, "I did not run; I made a _dignified_ exit on a _pointless_ discussion. Besides, the man was a lunatic."

Sebastian shook his head in mock-disapproval. "The dentist is a very well-reputed man in the medical profession. His thesis and research papers on the subject are highly acclaimed, so people tend to tolerate his …idiosyncrasies."

"Hmmph. If I had my way, I would revoke his license and burn down his clinic. Crazy people like that should not be relied on to treat the unwell."

"Or indeed to treat petulant children who refuse to accept what is good for them; and also have the power to bring pain to those who defy them." Sebastian murmured. Indeed, Ciel could bring the eccentric dentist down if he wanted to; one simple order and Sebastian would kill the teeth-worshipping medic. But that would only provide the demon with more ammunition about being unable to control his temper.

"No" Ciel refused, albeit a little wistfully.

…

…

The Math lesson was a _Disaster_.

"Now that you have understood the concept, please attempt question ten next."

Ciel looked up from the textbook with a start. "You expect me to solve such a difficult problem? This question is clearly of a more advanced level compared to the ones Ms. Bright (the tutor) gives me."

"I am aware, young master….however I feel that you are capable of dealing with this level of problem." The demon gave a cajoling smile, trying to encourage the uncooperative Earl. "Come, young master, don't claim it impossible without giving it a try, …..or do you have no faith in your talents?"

"Hmmph. If you make it a challenge, there's no way I can say no, is there?" A dry chuckle, and Ciel set himself unto the question determinedly.

Seeing the Earl attacking the question with quiet enthusiasm, Sebastian decided it was the best time to disrupt his concentration. "I have monitored the progress of the young master's studies, and I can say with certainty that this problem will prove to be a _**piece of cake **_for you."

The fountain-pen broke in half, sending ink splaying across the desk, ruining Ciel's hard work of the past three hours. Angry couldn't even begin to describe the Earl's emotions at the moment. He was quite willing to forego his revenge and order this heartless, cruel, vile, demon _monster_ to kill himself as painfully as possible.

How dare the evil hell-spawn mention the sacred food at such an inopportune moment! He was doing so well with that question, and now his efforts were for naught. Growling in anger, Ciel threw the heavy textbook at the grinning demon, but his strength and aim failed him, and the hardbound volume came to an anti-climatic and sorry end at the butler's feet.

Sebastian merely chuckled at the childish out-burst, and asked, "I think the young master has had enough of studies for one day, have you not?"

A frustrated hiss was his only reply.

…

….

However, the end of the teaching did not signal the end of Ciel's misery; indeed it was only the beginning.

Sebastian continued to torment the Earl by arbitrarily deciding that they would handle regular Funtom business matters next, meaning that most of the discussions pertained to toys and, of course, sweets. The reports from the chocolate factory were a sweet poison.

"The new flavor of **chocolate**…"

Ciel groaned and rested his head on his polished desk, trying to block out the demon's smooth and cultured voice. _I can't take much more of this_, he realized. His stomach was already making the most humiliating of noises, and his mind was hazy and clouded by hunger.

"The taste was improved by increasing the **milk** content to 25% and decreasing the **cocoa**…"

Milk and cocoa….makes chocolate milk. An invigorating drink which could be consumed at any time. It would restore his energy after the grueling lessons and torturous business discussions. Ciel sat up, considering the matter further. It could do no harm, since it was basically just milk. In fact, it should actually be very high on the doctor's approved list; isn't milk a rich source of calcium? Yes, chocolate milk, with whipped cream on top-

"Ahem. Young master?"

Disregarding the current topic of debate (Ciel hadn't been paying the slightest attention), the boy demanded "I want chocolate milk."

"At this time, young master?" The butler's tone was mocking, but Ciel couldn't care less.

"Yes. Immediately. Now." In case he wasn't clear enough, he waved the butler towards the door. "At once."

Ignoring the dismissal, Sebastian shook his head. "Chocolate milk is out of the question, but I could serve you plain milk if you like."

Ciel shrugged. "Fine" he agreed. _Mistake_.

Moments later, the butler was back with the demanded beverage, pouring it out into a delicate china cup.

Ciel took one sip of the liquid, and wrinkled his nose in disgust, tempted to spit out the foul liquid. It was a repeat of breakfast all over again!

Comprehending the boy's questioning glance, Sebastian explained, "Plain milk, with no honey."

"This is going way too far, Sebastian." There was a warning note in the Earl's voice.

The warning went unheeded, in fact, it only encouraged the demon to refine his goading techniques. "I am merely looking out for the young master's welfare."

Ciel sighed. He was doomed. Even milk had lost its appeal, since Sebastian no longer laced it with liberal amounts of honey.

…

…

The good thing about the mental agony was that it kept Ciel from brooding over the physical pain. No doubt about it, his new wisdom tooth was a gift from Hell.

Much to his dismay, Soma barged right into Ciel's study and slammed his hands on the desk. "Ciel, is it true that you have toothache?"

Ciel did not honor the prince with a response; instead, he glared accusingly at the smirking black-clad demon. "I might have mentioned it to Mister Agni while preparing your milk." Sebastian admitted slyly.

So this was his way of getting payback, huh. Well, the damage was done, and Ciel would punish Sebastian for it later.

Turning back to the concerned prince, confirmed the matter with a resigned sigh. "I grew a wisdom tooth, which is causing severe dental pain. The dentist has imposed a new diet, and I should be all right in a few days. The matter is of no consequence."

Short and to the point. Ciel waited with his eyes closed for the inevitable teasing, but nothing happened.

Opening his eyes, The Earl was startled to see tears pouring out of the Indian's eyes, creating wet splotches on Ciel's important documents.

_Oh great. The brat is in an emotional mood._ Ciel did not know what was worse, the prince's arrogant, unintentionally demeaning, overly-cheery exuberance; or his sudden teary, compassionate and emotional moments.

"Oh Ciel, I didn't know! I wouldn't have bothered you in the morning if I knew you were hurting!" Soma wailed, hugging the unwilling Earl forcefully, crying even harder. "Of course you cant fence if you are suffering from pain!"

Ciel was tempted to point out that it was an ache, not an injury, but the prince was difficult to interrupt when on a tirade. Responding would be too troublesome.

"In India, Clove Oil is used as herbal remedy for toothaches. It works instantaneously; Agni gave it to me once when I ate too many sweets. He's making some for you right now!"

Taken aback by the thoughtfulness, Ciel followed Soma to the kitchen and politely accepted the native cure from a sympathetic Agni. Tipping the rancid liquid into his mouth, he forced down a shiver as it burned his throat. Surprisingly, it brought instant relief to his aching gums.

Handing the glass back to an anxious Agni, Ciel nodded in approval. "It was effective. Thank you, Soma."

Ciel strode purposefully back to work, leaving a gawking Soma in his wake. The Earl suppressed a grin at the older boy's bafflement. What else could Ciel had said? He was touched.

…

Sebastian murmured his thanks to the ecstatic Indians before following his master. A temporary reprieve, he promised himself. He would resume his taunts and brain-addling once they got back to work.

At the study, Ciel paused thoughtfully at the doorway. "Sebastian, I can handle the reports myself. I want you to collect data regarding the customers' response to the new games we launched last month. I want you to visit every customer's house and request feedback on the new products."

Sebastian contemplated silently for a moment, clearly unhappy. "But young master, the information we have…"

"The current data is insufficient to form any concrete conclusions." _A blatant lie, but useful nonetheless._ "I want you to personally find out what the people think."

"…Every customer?"

"Yes, every customer in every corner of London, and in the suburbs beyond. Oh, and be back before lunch, we don't want to disrupt the schedule, do we?" Smirking, Ciel slammed the door shut on the butler's face.

Oh, payback is sweeter than the tastiest cake.

…

...

* * *

…

**I researched food idioms for this chapter, hope my efforts paid off. Sebastian isn't nearly done, though! Poor Ciel…) that's why I gave his a small victory at the end.**

**The latest chapter of the manga prompted me to add in the line about milk with honey, since it appears to be his favorite.**

**I was reading some Naruto fics recently; guess where the 'too troublesome' bit came from?**

**Nearly 3000 words; wow, this chapter is long after all!**


	5. Chapter 5: Easy as Pie

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**WISDOM TOOTH**

…

**Chapter 5: Easy as Pie**

…

**In retrospect, I realize that chapter 4 did not have a clear winner in the psychological battle. I apologize if it was unsatisfactory; as I explained before, I had to split the chapter due to excessive length (I don't like stretching chapters over 3k words, though I do it sometimes).**

**I also realize that Sebastian hasn't received much screen time. Unintentionally, this fic has become Ciel-centric, and is more often than not from his POV. I will try to bring out Sebastian's distinctive rich, dark, sly, seductive, alluring, twisted, cunning, manipulative, **_**demonic**_** personality better.**

* * *

…

Ciel sighed in relief as he lounged in his favorite armchair. It was the first relaxed and peaceful moment of the day, with no Soma to bother him and no Sebastian to taunt him with mind-games. Although, to be fair, the Indian had shown surprising sympathy and understanding, not to mention helpfulness. Ah, the clove oil had really worked miracles on his tooth, and indirectly, his mood.

Briefly he wondered whether his butler was enjoying his mission. Ciel had tried to make it as long and painstaking as possible; revenge for the _piece of cake_ incident.

…

Much to Ciel's horror and dismay, Sebastian made it back in barely an hour, a testament to his incredible demonic speed. And needless to say, the black-clad butler was not pleased.

Feigning nonchalance while trying to maintain his poise in face of the sheer killing intent oozing out of the black-clad hellion, Ciel extended a skinny hand for the documents. "Hmph. You were quite fast. Eager to return, perhaps?"

"It was only to be expected, young master. After all, this sort of task is _**easy as pie**_ for one of my abilities…"

Ciel rested his head between his hands with a low groan. Great. The mental torture begins anew. Only this time, Sebastian was back with a vengeance.

…

…

And so it went, for the rest of the day. Discussing the games segment was marginally better than the detailed reports of the chocolate factory. Marginally, but not much.

"Critics have claimed 'mousetrap' to be the _**crème de la crème**_ of strategy games…"

"The suggestions from the data collection department are certainly _**food for thought**__…_"

_What about food for the stomach_, Ciel was tempted to ask, but in the end thought better of it. His growling stomach was a testament to his malnourished state; and if Sebastian chose to ignore the loud noises, a verbal request was not likely to make much difference.

Instead, he tried to act unaffected. "I trust the new product received a favorable response?"

Sebastian's voice oozed satisfaction; the product was his idea after all. "Indeed. It appears that the surveys we gathered last month have proved useful in gauging new trends. The new Funtom toys have exceeded all expectations. Revenues have topped the charts; in fact, they sold like _**hot cakes**_…"

"..."

A sly glance at the distracted master, who was quite lost in bakery land. It was certainly amusing how his previous intense concentration could be completed over-ridden by the mere mention of his favorite pastries. The demon eyed the lad bemusedly. The Earl's face had taken the expression of an addict under rehabilitation who had somehow got his hands on the forbidden drugs. Dreamy euphoria clouded his aristocratic features; for once, the boy actually looked his age. He reminded the butler of Finnny drooling over Sebastian's latest culinary masterpieces (he had no qualms about his skills, or indeed any degree of modesty; he knew that his preparations were all _devilishly_ mouth-watering).

Grinning in a sensual manner that usually turned glacial ice-queens into infatuated fangirls, he leaned closer and whispered, "Would you like me to repeat that, young master?"

"...Eh?" Ciel was jolted out of his daydreams by Sebastian's face, which was much too close for comfort.

Clearing his throat awkwardly and trying to wipe away a bit of drool from his face, Ciel stuttered awkwardly, "Sorry, what did you say again?"

"I was merely stating that the young master's marketing efforts have _**borne fruit**_…"

"…Enough. We shall proceed to the Queen's letter."

…

…

The shift to watchdog matters did not prove any better. In retrospect, Ciel should have known.

"Oh yes, the prime suspect in the case, Lord Gyllenhal, is rumored to be a very powerful man, with diverse interests worldwide; they say he has a _**finger in every pie**_…"

Pie…..how long had it been since Ciel last sunk his teeth into the sweet but tangy goodness of blueberry pie…. chocolate been his favorite, but he would be more than willing settle for a modest apple pie now….or maybe-

"Ehem, young master, are you listening to me?"

The knowing grin on Sebastian's face confirmed Ciel's suspicions that the butler was well aware that Ciel's mind was wandering. Ciel also guessed that the demon knew exactly which direction Ciel's thoughts were taking. The Earl wondered briefly if the demon had a fair idea of how acutely the boy realized his hunger when his thoughts strolled in that direction, of how successful his little play with words was. Knowing Sebastian, he probably did.

"Young master…" Sebastian's tone was not annoyed in the slightest; his words carried the quiet amusement of a lenient teacher humoring his student. "Lord Gyllenhal…" he prompted encouragingly.

Thankfully, that brief reminder was enough to bring Ciel back into the flow of the conversation.

"Ah, yes, that overbearing fool. He has both means and motive for the crime. However, I find it hard to believe that such a bumbling idiot could actually weave an intricate web of deceit. He struck me as a loud, arrogant and full of empty bluster; subtle maneuvers and complicated plans seem quite beyond him."

Sebastian smirked, obviously pleased with the boy's deduction. "An accurate judgment, my lord; which leads us to the conclusion that there is another accomplice involved, the brains behind the operation, so to speak…"

"Do we have any leads on this accomplice?" Ciel leaned forward in interest. Whoever the perpetrator was, he or she undoubtedly possessed a very high level of cunning and intelligence, as well as the patience and diligence to successfully carry out the plan, all the while manipulating the insufferable Lord.

"There are a few suspects, the most promising one being the baroness of Quillich."

"The name seems familiar…" Ciel racked his brains, but could not recall where he had heard the woman's name before.

"Indeed, her ladyship is quite popular in the social circles. She has often been referred to as _**'eye candy'**_ for her stunning appearance…however one should not be misled by her looks and charm. In reality, the baroness is a _**sharp cookie**_, evidenced by her shrewd and ruthless business tactics. I have no doubt that she is the one pulling the strings…"

Ciel's mouth watered, despite his best efforts to keep his body under control. Candy….and cookies…..hmmm…._cookies are reasonably healthy, aren't they?_ Well, healthier than cake in any case. That's right; a cookie is more of a biscuit than a sweet. Not too sugary, not too rich…unless of course it had chocolate chips on top…but what is a cookie without chocolate chips? …He had heard of a different variety, named almond cookies; perhaps they would be-

Sebastian cleared his throat, forcibly dragging the Earl back from his fantasies.

Biting on his tongue to keep himself from salivating, Ciel bit out a bit forcefully, "So she's the one behind it all? Hmmph, no matter. Whoever the perpetrators are, they shall be eliminated. It is the will of the Queen."

"Very well, young master. I shall begin the preparations to deal with the Lord and Baroness shortly."

Ciel was skeptical. "Shall we leave this to the Scotland Yard? I see no reason for personal involvement."

This brought a smug smirk to the butler's refined features. "Not to worry, young master. I can handle this myself. What sort of butler would I be if I couldn't even take care of an insignificant pest invasion? There is no need to involve the blundering local police; after all, _**too many cooks spoil the broth**_…"

Broth…was soup, wasn't it? Ciel scoffed. Such an archaic term; fit only for sailors' journals and historic novels. For his readings, he presumed that the word had probably been coined by the low income section of the general populace; in reference to the thick, gooey, lumpy mass that was served at factories and poorhouses. Of course; nothing but the finest was served at the Phantivehive manor, meaning that Ciel's soups were all painstakingly prepared, delicately blending exotic tastes, warming the body from throat to fingertips. Sebastian had also paid notice to Ciel's little quirks, like the fact that he preferred clear soup, and that he wasn't fond of vegetables floating on top, and-

"The matter is settled, then?"

_Damn! I lost concentration again!_ Ciel mentally berated himself for his pitiful attention span, while maintaining his outwardly haughty façade. It wouldn't do to show weakness; though Sebastian's dirty underhanded tactics deserved firm reprimand.

By this point the young Earl was quite disagreeable, and was determined to protest anything and everything that Sebastian had to say, even if his mind didn't actually register the butler's suggestion. It was nothing more than a childish tantrum; of that Ciel was aware. Nevertheless, the boy was fixated on making the butler at least as miserable as he himself was, of not more. He had once claimed that he would drag his enemies down into the darkness with him; however that rule also applied to all those who were happier them himself when they had no right to be, especially if their happiness was at his expense.

"You have other things to deal with. Leave this matter to Lau; after all, he owes us a favor."

"Is it wise to give more power to the shanghai mafia, young master? You must realize the dangers of putting all your _**eggs**_ in one basket. It is, to put things bluntly, a _**recipe**_ for disaster."

"...Just leave it to Lau."

Sebastian persisted, though he knew the boy's mind was made up. Really, his stubbornness was compromising the quality of his work. "Are you absolutely _sure_, young master?"

Ciel frowned in annoyance, though secretly getting a kick out of irritating the black-clad demon. "Are you questioning my orders, Sebastian?" he demanded arrogantly, knowing full well that the butler could not refuse a direct command.

Sebastian sighed but acquiesced. "Very well; I shall contact him at once."

"Fine. Then you are dismissed. As Watchdog matters are now complete, I've decided it is well beyond our normal lunch-time. Set the table, Sebastian; I shall make my way downstairs."

"Ah… I'm afraid that lunch is not yet ready, young master. In fact, I would not be surprised if preparations for the midday meal have not yet begun." The butler pretended to look sorry, but the massive grin threatening to break out on his perfect face was clear proof otherwise.

A tic mark formed on Ciel's forehead; he face resembled a particularly nasty thunderstorm. In a voice dripping with malice, he inquired, "Would you be so kind as to explain to me _why _my lunch is not yet ready?"

Sebastian smirked; it was time for his ultimate winning move. "I'm afraid I was occupied with the unforeseen data collection the young master ordered, hence I could not oversee lunch preparations. If the impatient young master had not demanded the information immediately, I could have ensured that the food was ready before leaving."

_You have only yourself to blame, _the demon's expressions seemed to say.

Ciel reluctantly acknowledged defeat.

_Touché, Sebastian. You win….for now._

…

* * *

…

**Does this chapter seem a bit SebxCiel? I tried to put in more of Sebastian's personality and flair, but it ended up in a way I didn't expect. I don't actually read the yaoi stuff; this is just an innocuous mistake.**

**This was completed pretty late at night, so please excuse any mistakes! **

**I've recently fallen in love with the ItaHina pairing in Naruto; any other fans of this couple reading this? My favorite fic of this type is 'As Far As Innocence Goes' (the original version). I'm thinking of writing a little continuation to it…thoughts?**

**So now, the ItaHina ficlet sits in a little file on my laptop, beside the untouched ByakuyaOC and in-progress SebastianOC fics. It's a pity; coz I have so many little ideas to share with you guys! **

**Good night! (or good morning, or good afternoon, depends on where you are)**


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